Hipsters from across the globe are in a state of panic this week as it emerged that the current wave of popular “Deep House/Nu-Disco” club music is becoming “too popular.”
The panic comes mere weeks after EDM stars Tiesto and Steve Aoki’s shameless attempts to ingratiate themselves into the genre. “That was the nail in the coffin for me,” claimed London art-student Mo Curtis, pictured looking pensive as he receives the official news that Deep House is too commercial from the hipster high council. “I wasn’t even that into the music but when people like that are hitching their wagons to it you know it’s definitely not underground enough anymore.”
Berlin-based hipster, Kevin Jameson, echoed the sentiments of Mo and countless others around the world, “The music isn’t even the most important part of the music. It’s more important to be constantly looking for the coolest and most interesting new music,” he explained. “So that I can broadcast my interest in that music and then abandon it when it gets too popular. It makes me feel better than everyone else, and I love that.”
“Deep House has been good to me over the last few years. I was the first person to post a link to Without You by Art Department on my Facebook and I’ve been to loads of Hot Creations nights which I, thrillingly, got to boast to people about. I also got a lot of kudos for being the first of my friends to blog about Disclosure,” claimed Kevin. “And I got even more respect when I subsequently said that they were a bit too hyped.”
Discussing his plans for the future Mo claimed that he would stop listening to Deep House altogether and remove any evidence that he ever liked it from his life, “I’ve been here before so I know the drill. This is the third time I’ve had to alter my image according to what’s cool. The first time was when everyone got into Minimal Techno and then of course there was the Dubstep implosion of 2011,” he explained resignedly.
Mo went on to claim that over the next few months he would strive to find a new genre of music that is suitably unknown to take an interest in. “I’ve read about this eastern European kind of Klezmer/Gabba hybrid that is supposed to be awful. It’s made by two Communist ex-convicts using a Kaoss pad and a drum made from an old kettle and some sheepskin. It hasn’t even got a genre yet,” enthused Mo. “I really think it’s amazing but most people wouldn’t be into it.”
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